The chime of freedom is ringing in this blog today. I'm going to address a touchy subject with you, namely: erotic massage. (get it? touchy?)
A cyber-friend of mine was employed as the manager of an erotic massage parlor. Lovely ladies, lingerie, massage, and a "Happy Ending." (For you Puritans out there, that means a hand job. For you Quakers out there, a hand job means hand-on-penis sex done from one person to another)
Her place of business is legal, taxed, regulated, and the workers there have far more protections and rights than the ladies who work as prostitutes in Nevada. This place must be in Canada, right? Right. Sure is. Why? Because this activity is illegal (with scant exception) in the US. Shameful, I know.
You might be thinking, "Caleb wanting erotic massage legal... duh!" and you would be right, but probably for the wrong reasons. I'm not sure if I could even pay for such an act. How awkward, right?
"Um, hi... I'm Caleb. This is, uh, my wiener."
Maybe if they liquor you up first!
So on what grounds do I want to see this industry legal? Well, I'll tell you: freedom. I want the freedom to get an erotic massage and I would want the freedom to give them for money. Well, not me personally, but you know.
You will find opposition to the legality of erotic massage in many forms, but here are three common reasons:
1. It demeans women (as if you couldn't have males in this industry)
2. It is morally wrong
3. It encourages other, more risky illegal behavior (read: they're all crackwhores and sell/do drugs)
I'm not going to offer a point-by-point rebuttal of these reasons, but suffice it to say that they suck and that I disagree wholeheartedly. Plus, the way I see it, the farther that morals and values get from regulating my personal life- the better.
Does that make me a libertarian? I hope not. I'm just of the "don't bust my chops" mentality, and I'm willing to extend that same courtesy to others. That's what freedom means to me: handjobs, pot, and not being legally required to wear your seat belt.
I'd like to say that things are getting better, but sadly I don't think they are. Just today a weed-like drug, K2, was outlawed in Iowa. Turns out people were having fun using it, so they had to act quickly.
As my final thought, let me put forward an idea to all of you readers: before you think that every person who works as an erotic massage is a dirty, drug-filled tramp; before you think that every trucker is a bearded, horny monster; before you assume even that every politician in America must be a crooked two-faced liar; recognize that these stereotypes and over-generalizations lead to nothing but not-freedom.
And we're against not-freedom, right?
Caleb "I'll take a happy ending!" Shreves
PS here is the link to me singing THE NATIONAL ANTHEM!