Monday, October 31, 2011

Entry 149: Let Me Put My Law In You

Legal education is expensive. Especially when you actually go to school for it. So let me save you some money and learn you some legal stuff, free of charge. Here are 10 lessons from actual cases* that you can use in your daily life. For convenience, I've put these in a format that's easy to remember.

*facts may be distorted at my convenience

Lesson #1

Lesson #2

Lesson #3

Lesson #4

Lesson #5

Lesson #6

Lesson #7

Lesson #8

Lesson #9

Lesson #10

I hope this helps.  I would cite the cases for you and give you some more specific information, but my laziness prevents me from doing so.  Just have to take my word for it, I guess!

Also, sorrs about the posting delay.  I had 2 "almost" posts that, if they had worked out, would have kept me on schedule.  Internet: 2, Caleb: 0.

And, since it's been a while, here are a few updates, bullet-style.

- I gave my first impromptu stand-up performance for an audience consisting of drunk guys and gals in costume waiting in line to use a single restroom.  I explained that there was likely to be some errant pee in the vicinity of the toilet, as well as the inherent un-aimability of the male wiener.  Seriously- I think you women vastly over-estimate our level of control over these things.

- A new friend gave me my new favorite quote.  After intensely scanning a crowded room full of law students, he turned to me and said: "there is LITERALLY nobody in this room I wouldn't do."

- My team, the Cubs, signed an awesome general manager and president of baseball operations.  My hated enemy, the Cardinals, won the world series.  Yes, I still live in St. Louis, and no, I haven't been killed or put in jail yet.

- It's totally normal sometimes to wonder, "Am I really an alien?  Is this life or a Stephen King novel?" Right?  Right? I was a bit worried for a while that I'd lost what sanity I had left.

- Dad is doing well in Afghanistan, and says he has a lot of great stories.  He hasn't written any or delivered anything to me to post for The BS Update.  He did, however, almost die with his girlfriend and two small children while attempting to paddleboat through some rapids on the Wapsipinicon river.  Fact: plastering someone with wet leaves in an effective sun-blocking technique.

What have YOU been up to?  I know that I haven't been reading and commenting as much as I normally do, but I promise I try to keep up with all my friends and fellow bloggers. If you've done something of note recently, please add it to the comments.  And by "of note," I of course mean shenanigans.

C out.