Entry 80: GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY!!!

A bit intense, eh? 

Well, I've decided to join a fund-raiser for cancer and such.  Here's the link:

If I raise $600 I get to jump out of another airplane.  And I really want to.  And if I raise more than that, they'll give me a parachute. 

So what can I do to entice you to donate to the cause?  Let's break it down:

1. Guilt.  If you don't donate $15 to me, then you love cancer.

2. Shame.  After all the enjoyment you've gotten from my blog, you won't reciprocate with a measly $16?

3. Begging.  Come on please!?  Please? I really need it- cancer really needs it- come on, be a pal!?

4. Long-winded mathematical explanations of its feasibility.  Okay, $600.  That's doable.  If I get $17.64 from each follower I'll have hit my mark.  If I get just .09 cents or so for every time you click on my blog, I'll be there by September.  If one of you pledges all $600, I'll kiss you on the mouth.

5. Bribery. If you donate enough money, I'll do you a solid.  Hard to say what exactly, or how much you have to donate to get it, but you know me- I'm pretty reasonable and willing to, uh, do stuff.

6. Threats. Seriously- I work with all IT nerds.  If I find that you don't donate at least a small amount, I'll have them find your IP address and come to your house with a brand new beautiful kitten.  Then, months later, when you're in love with your kitten, I will sneak into your house in the dead of night and punch you in the face.

7. Ask nicely.  Okay, I don't even know how to begin with this one.  Lame.

I suppose that's all I got really.  I personally like #1 and will be using it as my campaign slogan for the next month.  Let's see if we can cure cancer, save boobs, and push me out of a plane, eh?

That being said, I'm on a quest to find a greasy BLT.  I've been inspired.

Caleb "doesn't love cancer" Shreves

PS I've secretly employed an 8th tactic to entice you to donate.  I've turned this post into a minefield of links to the donate page, but ONE of the links is to pictures of baby kittens.  You'll never find it unless you click them all!  Brilliant!

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