Entry 143: Hehheh... "Entry 143" How Many 'Entries' Does It Take Before... You Know What, Nevermind.

Hey There Peepsosaurus!

You know, every time I make up some ridiculous name that ends in "saurus," I always wonder, "does that end in a 'us' or 'os'?"  Because, of course, when you're making up words it's important to spell them right.  So this time I finally looked it up.  Which means, reader, that my calling you "peepsosaurus" was done with the utmost of academic integrity.

That being said (because it was), look at what I found!

Can you guess which one is me?

Same jeans?  Check.  Black Laredo boots on?  Check.  Same "corncob stuck in my butt" strut?  Check.  Nondescript shirts?  Check.  Talking on a white iPhone?  Check.

That's right.  I found my twin while I was in Chicago!  I thought it would be fun to sneak him back to the hotel and trick LJ into having some sex with him, then I would jump out and yell "surprise! gotcha!" and she'd laugh and laugh, but we were running late to the Shedd Aquarium.

When we got to the Aquarium I thought I was going to have to have an epic battle with Linezilla, but for an extra 11 cents you can skip the 2 hour line, get a years membership, and get in right away.  Yeah, apparently some people are dumb enough to not do that and prefer standing in line next to overweight emo teenagers that insist on wearing clothes that fit them 8 years ago.  Great plan, happy. 

But you know what's really cool?  When we got in, I showed the chick at the counter my gun show and she was all like "Holy cow!  Your guns!  Please do us the honor of naming a new species of fish!"  And then I was all like "Fine.  But these guns are fer lookin', not fer touchin'"  (Which is a lie, because, she could totally touch 'em.  But you know.) 

Ladies and Gentlemen, behold my aquatic masterpiece!

Named this one after my dear great-grandmother...bless her soul.

 

 

You're welcome.  Now you might be saying "Whoa, whoa Caleb!  Slow down!  What were you doing in Chicago?  What have you been up to?  You can't just stroll into your blog without-"  Which is where I interrupt you because you SO talk too much and I zoned out seconds ago.  I will tell you what I was not doing however, because I took a neurotic and probably OCD girlfriend with me: getting lost.

It's kind of hard to see (sorrs), but these are directions, printed out, to and from every location within 200 miles of Chicago.  Home to hotel, home to Wrigley, Wrigley to hotel, hotel to Wrigley, Wrigley to home, hotel to home, etc.  This isn't even all of them (for serious).   I'm all like, "Yeah, that's crazy sweet and all, but it turns out- like most things in life- the best solution is in my pocket." 

Yeah... who even prints out directions anymore? Sheesh.  That's so 2005.  Get the net, LJ!  (This is the part where she jumps in and argues that my iPhone map app is possessed, and the little blue dot has the ability to travel through time and space in ways that do not follow known scientific models.  My standard retort goes as follows: "shut up, that's why."  Then I kiss my iPhone on it's mouth.  Well, where I imagine the mouth to be anyway.)

^ longest parenthetical thought of the day award!  Yay me!

Anywhoo. 

I went and saw the Cubs, they were awesome, and Wrigley field is my Mecca.  But you knew that.  And you also probably knew that the Cubs are the greatest sports team in the history of the universe.  And you ALSO probably knew that I am a respectful and dignified fan of the game, who tries to treat my fellow man with grace and tact even when that sentiment is not returned.  However, Yankees and Cardinals fans are rarely worthy of such treatment. 

I generously offered a co-worker (Yankees fan) text updates with pics and highlights of the game.  She told me I'd "better effing not" and then said bad things would happen if I did.  Then I received this:

Threatening my innocent Blue Doritos?  Not cool.  Typical Yankee fan.

And Cardinal fans?  They always claim that they know the most about sports.  I was suspicious of this claim until recently, when an obliging Cardinal fan took the time to explain to a group of us the difference, in animal-mascot terms, of the Cubs and the Cardinals.  Maybe they do know a lot.  Worth considering.

Enjoy.  (and no, you can't have these 19 seconds of your life back.)

What's the point of all this rambling?  Well, okay.  Fair enough- you caught me.  I really just wanted to show you the funniest father/son picture I've ever seen, courtesy of Andrew at Too Much pressure.  Thanks, man.  Awesome pic!  Seeing you as a baby really explains some things.

Stay classy!

Caleb "coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee" Shreves

PS someone please buy me the t-shirt that has 5 commas and a picture of a chameleon.  Thanks.

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