Entry 145: The Five Minute Game. Oh, And Porn.

Yo-skis,

I decided to play a game today.  I get five minutes to pick popular topics and write something.  Yes, this is a coffee-fueled idea, and no- I *don't* want any goddamn sugar in my coffee.  Gross.

Setting the timer now... Go.

1. Casey Anthony trial

Did you know that some porn company had an offer on the table (heh... on the table) for her to do some adult videos?  True story.  They took the offer back after they assessed the extremely negative emotional reaction from people.  Porn standards- I know, right?  There goes my new drinking game idea, "See how long you can keep your boner while looking into Casey Anthony's crazy eyes."

2. Democrats and Republicans fighting over the debt ceiling.

Something about the whole thing reminds me of 2 straight guys getting tricked into doing gay porn.  They both show up on set, wieners in hand, look at each other and say "where's the bitches?"  Newsflash: there's no bitches.

3. Tosh.0.

Seriously- have you seen this fucking show?  It's awesome-tastic-mazing-ceptional.   That's a 4-combo adjective, which is the equivalent of a "fatality" in Mortal Kombat.  Tosh recently gave me the quote of the month: "Anal sex is like spinach: if you're forced to have it as a child, you won't like it as an adult."

4. Soccer, some hockey, the French, hippies, tofu, sharing.

Gay.

Ding!  That's 5 already?  And yes- I type that quickly.

I feel cheated though... how about I take another 5, surf around, and see what sort of internet shenanigans I can come up with?  Go.

Suck it, Krust!

I hope cubs.com appreciates my candid feedback

The Johann recently bought a new SUV that smells like a steak and seats 35.   I call it "Canyonero" but he doesn't get the reference.  I used my last 2 minutes to finally find the video for him and share it.  You all know the reference, right?

And done.  Not bad for 10 minutes, right?

Bonus!  1 minute to list what else one could do with 10 minutes.  Go.

1. Have sex and then nap for almost 10 minutes.
2. Figure out that the Cubs are going to be losers this year
3. Get a degree from a community college
4. Wait for a beer at The Lucky Frog (Suck it, T!)
5. Get bored watching golf and play a 9 minute drinking game
6. damn!  out of time

Anyway folks.  This is a fun game- I suggest you try it.

Later!

Caleb "can I buy you a fish sandwich?" Shreves

PS technically I had an additional 15 seconds on the internet-shenanigan portion, so I've decided that I get a bonus.  Behold, the OCD-like qualities of my future roommate.  If she only knew how much beer of hers I'm going to drink...

I think she's getting serious about finding a place to live.  Oh, and yes, the bottom one is in regards to me selling The Nighthawk.  Blog Readers get a .01% discount!

Tweet