Hey there! If you're reading this, you should probably be working.
With that, I'll be taking questions now:
1. So what drives you, Caleb? What makes you tick?
2. Okay... Who are some of your idols? Any significant mentors or people you look up to and draw inspiration from?
Nobody picked me for soccer in grade school. And, you remember that game with the weird giant bucket on a pole, and you had to throw balls (heh heh) in it and they would come out of 1 of 4 different colored slots? Yeah, with numbers on them. Was there some kind of game to that? How the hell did you play? In 7 years at Virgil Grissom Elementary no one ever *once* explained what the hell that game was all about.
3. One-armed Elizabeth Hurley or Brittany Spears?
Shaved head Brittany?
Seriously? Be reasonable.
5. Okay, hot Brittany.
6. Two hot Brittanies? Is that how you pluralize that?
What does Elizabeth's nub look like? Like, right at the shoulder or does she still have a flapper? Is she wearing a sleeveless?
7. You said once that you have a "quarter brother." Explain.
Well, he's also an "ex-stepbrother" so when I was searching for a remaining legal tie, I realized that he's actually still a half brother to my half brothers. 1/2 times 1/2, get it?
8. Yes, but why multiplication?
Shut up, that's why.
9. Fair enough. What should someone do if they want to contact you- you know, to give you money, mad respect, or request an autograph?
But it's still like, "the" Elizabeth Hurley right? Like the Elizabeth Hurley from Bedazzled, and not some candid "oh my god celebrity without makeup thing" Elizabeth Hurley?
10. Well that's all the time we have. Any closing thoughts? Caleb? Oh right... I said 9 questions. Oh well.
PS A wild mere cat.