[offbeat introduction to random topic]
[clever references that show that I am aware of youth and frat culture, yet somehow above it]
[comment that is sexist, misogynistic, or blatantly womanizing. Written equivalent of a cute smile to soften the blow and not make me seem too dickish to get laid]
[story of crazy friend doing something that makes me seem not so bad]
[anything to keep the attention on me]
[my name with a clever quote-thing for a middle name]
You're welcome! Now go have fun.
Oh, kind of funny: this morning I saw a giant red billboard with a pack of cigarettes on it that said "killaz." At first I thought maybe they were those mini-cigars that are getting more popular because they evade the cigarette tax and I thought "Hmm... maybe I'll have to try those!"
Then I read on and saw that it was a JEL (just eliminate lies) anti-smoking billboard, and the "killaz" brand is meant to be ironic and discourage smoking.