Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Entry 101: Caleb Emails Dr. Laura

I heard a particularly good show from Dr. Laura this morning and thought I'd send her an email.  Since you stalkers seem to want to know every detail of my life, I thought I would paste it here for you to read. 

Hi Dr. Laura,

I have listened to your show off and on for years, mostly for entertainment and the "Yeah! Get 'em!" feeling when callers come to you needing a good straightening-out.  For the most part I agree with the principles and advice you give, with certain notable exceptions. 

One thing that I notice with a lot of women callers is the pathetic, whiny, needy, and weak tone of voice they use.  They'll call in with some story about how their husband is cheating on them or not giving them attention and I'm thinking, "lady, I've heard your voice for less than a minute and I already want to date you JUST so I can go cheat on you."  Ridiculous, I know, but the point is there; the nagging insecurities and lack of confidence in many of these women is not only annoying, but rarely effective in implementing any type of solution to their problems. 

Should these women have faithful husbands?  Ones who are attentive and responsible?  That respect them?  Absolutely- and any man worth his salt is going to hold out for a woman who demands- and is worthy- of his very best.  But when I hear these women call in with their whiny, verge-of-tears voices it just makes me want to insult their mothers, go to a strip club, and emotionally starve them while playing Xbox.  (in an unrelated note I am currently single).

Well this morning I was surprised when I finally heard you tell a woman who had called in about an inattentive husband to "take the whine out of your voice."  I sat up.  What was this?  "Can you please take the whine out of your voice?  Do you know why I'm asking you that?"  Finally!  Yes!  And you did- you told her that any sort of fix for her problem (and you gave her some good ideas on things to say and do) was going to have to come from a confident and fun place.  More whining and "please be the parents I never had instead of my husband" was not going to work.

Thanks for your show, thanks for the laughs, and best of luck with your new endeavors. We'll always have to agree to disagree on some matters, but even so I'm convinced that we would get along splendidly in person. 

Maybe you could even straighten me out a bit. 

Nah.

Caleb Shreves


If she emails me back I'll let you know.  And if you don't even know who Dr. Laura is.... well, you've got more problems than reading my blog can solve.

And it can solve a lot.

Lates!

4 comments:

  1. I used to listen to Dr. Laura every day for a few years when I was home schooled. Good times.

    And yes, those women are infuriating to listen to.

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  2. I have no clue who Dr.Laura is (though she has a great name) but thank God she told those women off. Publically declaring it in a "kick me while I'm down" voice is good for nobody. In particular, the poor listeners.

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  3. Andrew- good call. Home schooled, huh? How was prom?

    Laura- you'd like her! The soft, nice stuff that you hear most of the time is absent when she goes off! She lets people have it, though she has a few moral hang-ups that keep me from giving a full-endorsement.

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  4. I have just downloaded iStripper, so I can watch the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.

    ReplyDelete