Friday, June 18, 2010

Entry 39: Caleb: 0 Wasps: 1

Status update for Operation Wasp Destruction:

   Yesterday evening at approximately 1600 local time forces under the command of Cpl. Shreves launched a surprise nighttime RAID on known wasp outposts in the contested region known as "Downstairs."  The attack was met with minimal resistance and enemy casualties were limited to one wasp sentry.  Total RAID saturation of wasp forces was completed, as well as a picket line of RAID established along both the mud puddles and picnic bench. 1 bottle of RAID was used.

  One kamikaze wasp attacked Cpl. Shreves while he was spraying the area, but in a heroic act of defense Shreves ran screaming like a girl spraying haphazardly towards his 6.  The wasp was injured, but managed to fly off unsteadily towards the wasp homeland.  Shreves is pretty sure that wasp will never be right in the head.


   A routine reconnoitering of the area at 0930 this morning revealed that the attack did not achieve its intended results.  Wasp activity was intense, with as many as 20 wasps patrolling the windows and skies at any given time.  While it is possible that they have merely been forced from their bases and are scavenging materials to relocate, a more likely explanation is that they are mustering forces for a counter assault. Three serious attacks were thwarted in a mere five minutes with no reported stingings.


   The RAID used in the assault was a generic variety.  Perhaps name-brand repellent would be more effective.  Recommend purchasing 2 bottles of RAID brand spray and commencing fresh assault. Also, alternative methods of attack should be researched and implemented.  It may become necessary to form alliances with birds, bats, lizards, and even spiders to help quash this wasp rebellion.  Peaceful relocation or "ignoring them" are options that have been taken off the table.

1 comment:

  1. Update:

    Decreased wasp presence as of yesterday may mean that the attack was more successful than previously thought. Conditions were typical of high wasp activity outside, yet only 5% of the usual wasp patrols were encountered.

    Continued observation necessary.