Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Day 6: The Week


So, "enough with the suspense already!" you say? Change your life with
a fantastic new product?

In a minute.

First, today's headlines:

Ever heard of Williams Syndrome? It's a genetic defect that eliminates
social anxiety and causes "hyper-social" behavior. Apparently people
with this condition have no racial biases yet still manage to
discriminate on the basis of gender. Score one for men.

Stephen Seagal, mediocre movie BA, apparently keeps young Russian girls
as sex slaves. I know what you're thinking- and I would probably have a
few myself if I were rich too- but this is wrong and you shouldn't
condone it.

Conan O'Brien, that loveable cherub, is headed to TBS. He will be
joining oldie hits (Married With Children, Home Improvement, etc.), MLB,
and The Office to create perhaps the greatest young-guy-TV-hodgepodge
that any network has ever assembled. I might have to plug my cable cord
into my TV. (no, it's not already. Because the cord wasn't long enough
when I moved the TV. Because I just need the internet. No, it's not
expensive- it pretty much comes with internet for free nowadays.)

Ok, ready? Check out theweek.com! Best magazine on the planet, bar
none. It bills itself (fairly accurately) as "All You Need To Know
About Everything That Matters" and it's pretty much just that. All that
it's missing is detailed Cubs analysis, but that could be personal
preference. The Week is a small magazine that has the best of all the
news and happenings, national and international. Sprinkle in some
best-of reviews (they've never steered me wrong on a book or movie),
notable quotes, and best properties on the market (that page rocks.),
and you've got yourself the only magazine you'll ever need. I'm almost
hesitant to recommend it to others (but I do) because I'm worried it
will give away one of the greatest sources to my near-infinite grasp of
trivial knowledge. If you read The Week regularly, you would find me 43%
less interesting.

Also, congratulations to Bee for first-ing my follower list!

I think there should be a category for followers, and a category for
minions. Mmm... minions.

Check back tomorrow for my expose: "How To Spot A Government Employee!"

Peace out


  1. Also, Williams syndrome is even more interesting than I thought. Apparently people with the disorder have a distinctly "elfin" appearance, "unusual" language skills, and "are highly verbal and overly sociable (having what had previously been described as a "cocktail party" type personality), but lack common sense and typically have inhibited intelligence."
    Um, my joke-creator got jammed up with too many ideas on that one. You'll have to think of something funny yourself!

  2. After re-reading about Williams syndrome, I'm wondering if that just describes every girl I've ever dated. Hmm.