I am currently dating a girl but plan on breaking up with her. She's nagging, whining, jealous, and went from the fun person I knew when we dated to an evil she-demon now that we're official. I was planning on waiting until after Prom this weekend to break up with her, but I was wondering if I should just do it now. What should I do?
- Inevitable Procrastinator in Iowa
Can you get a hummer from someone else if you dump her now? That's the question you need to ask yourself. If you are convinced that your wiener would remain dry and un-slurped if you were to go stag, then hang on to her for the weekend; no sense giving up your prom-desert. If, however, you think you have the slightest amount of game then dump her now and free yourself up for some prom girls (think sexy underwear, hot dresses, and low self-esteem). Plus, you'll have a dashing combination of confident decider on the one hand and slightly wounded and vulnerable recently-broken-up-with sad guy vibe on the other. It'll be like someone tied lead weights to the bottom of every girl's panties for you, guy. Make the right call.
My boyfriend and I recently upped our sex life by orders of magnitude and are now getting it on way more often than we used to. Does this mean that I can stop giving him bjs?
- Humping in Hartford
And now for the word of the day: shenanigator. Noun. Person who instigates shenanigans. Some shenanigator just tried to order 6 whoppers from the McDonalds drivethru window!
Use it as all you want.
Happy hump day!
PS go be ironic and do some actual humping today. You know you want to!