Day 5: The Good, The Bad, The Whiny

What? You didn't think I worked weekends, did you?

Monday report: The Good, The Bad, and The Whiny

Good: Cubs home-opener today at newly-renovated Wrigley Field! Great
success.

Bad: Jeff Samardzia has an ERA of 108. That's right, 108. To give
perspective to a non-baseball person, that's like having a FICO credit
score of -17,000. Or spelling your own name wrong when taking the SATs.
Or having a free throw percentage in the high teens. Not good.

Whiny: The Cubs have a psychiatrist in the clubhouse now, so they are
free to talk about their feelings with a trained professional.
Feelings.. ha! Losers.

Good: Anderson Silva wins his UFC bout, spending most of his time
dancing around the ring, offering his face up to the other guy just
daring him to "bring it."

Bad: Turns out that I don't really like Marlboro special blend #54
cigarettes. Since I smoke only on weekends, I had to abandon that pack
and get one that didn't suck right away. Also, did you know that there
are soft-pack cigarettes? I didn't.

Whiny: I bought an AM radio to listen to Cubs games at work or when at
the gym but the antenna sucks a big one. It gets one station: Rush
Limbaugh. And that station only comes in when I set the radio on the
far right side of my desk.

Good: Finished Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, which was an awesome book.
Basically about gut versus logic, and when to use which one. Seems that
his theory is to use your gut on complicated decisions like choosing a
mate, which seems to work out for everyone who has tried that particular
method.

Bad: Left a banana in my car for several days; I think it still looks
okay: I'm going to eat it.

Whiny: Apparently scientists have analyzed paintings of The Last
Supper and have found that portion size has increased 67% from 1000AD
to 2000AD. If I could draw I would paint a picture of The Last Supper
with a plate full of McDonald Dubs (double cheeseburgers for you
non-McDonaldians) on a platter, with Judas nervously munching some fries
and Jesus giving him a "you're the kind of guy who double dips" sort of
look. Alas.

Tomorrow I'm going to reveal a product that will change your world!

Peace out, girl scout.

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