Thursday, April 29, 2010

Day 18: Women's 90 Day Effect

I spoke with a lady-blogger friend of mine last night who told me
something I absolutely did NOT know about women. She claims that her
theory is well-documented, but maybe some of you readers can weigh in.

So how long can you (women) go without sex before it gets, uh, bad?
(bad= subjective). Apparently there is a "90 day rule" in effect
whereby women can only go 90 days without some you-know-what (psss: it's
sex!) before they start going stir-crazy for leg spreading and dropping
their standards (and underwear). Here's a roughly paraphrased
description of what happens:

"After 90 days I start to lower my standards and see more positive
attributes regardless of negative ones. For instance, I might think
'hey, that guy has a well-defined jawline... underneath all that acne.'
Sometimes I even have to make sure my friends know my situation so they
can keep me from making poor decisions."

What? Really? I had two thoughts right away. The first is that maybe
this 90-day thing is the reason that those man-whores out at the bar
exist. They know that they can go down the line at any bar and maybe
find a chick that is "in the zone" who will take them home just to
refresh their vagina clock. Evolution at work?

Second, how do we men- famed for our inattentiveness- recognize you
ladies when you are...uh, in heat? As it were. Is this some
well-guarded secret that you have deliberately kept from men so that we
can't take advantage of your weakness? Like vampires before people knew
about garlic and silver? I want to know and will pay top dollar for the

If this is true, which is yet to be verified, this will be the most
dramatic revelation about women I have had since I learned that women
do, in fact, poop.

So ladies: 90 day rule? Yes or no?


  1. Was it a typo? Should have been 90 minute effect?

  2. Ha. Funny. No time limit as far as I can tell. The only thing capable of truly lowering a woman's standards is alcohol. That's really not a secret. However, the alcohol intake may increase after 90 days leading to the elusion of a 90 day effect. The way a woman can tell if she is suffering a loss of standards vs. a bout of binge drinking gone wrong is based on her reactions the next morning. If she wakes up, decides to snuggle closer to the sub-par being in her bed and chance another go around... well, then is sufferring a 90 day effect. If she wakes, cringes, completes a full body shiver, then contemplates leaving completely nude vs. waking the beast and having to actually face the reality of what she's done... it's a simple case of too many martinis.

  3. What if- and this is bold, I realize- a girl were to get drunk AND be under the 90 day effect? Hmm... so THAT'S how ugly people get laid! I should have known. Maybe there is hope for me.

  4. there is absolutely a time limit. I would argue that its not 90 days - but 60. There are definitely tell-tale signs, tho each female may differ. Keep your eye out for crankiness and snippyness (these are easier to judge when you know a persons typical behavior). Also watch for women who openly stare at men who walk by, often they let out a *sigghh* and hang their heads down towards the chocolate cake they're shamelessly eating at the bar after said male has passed without speaking to them. These women are also out with their friends who are less attractive then themselves- b/c lets face it, its easier to get laid when your hotter best friend isnt flaunting her perfect legs and ass in a little skirt at the bar next to you.