Monday, May 3, 2010

Day 20: The Troll

The Gods of Hilarious Shit smiled down upon us this weekend, bestowing
perhaps the mightiest instrument of unbelievable laughation that the
world has seen. The source of this story swears by its authenticity,
and snopes so far has been unable to declare it invalid. So, true or
not-as-true, here it is:

A lady my friend works with has an autistic son who usually calls and
says crazy shit. He lives at home and takes care of himself, so she
checks in with him regularly throughout the day. Well a few weeks ago
his comment of the day was "Mom, I caught a troll!" to which his mother
said something like "That's nice, hon." She gets a few more of these
calls during the day but doesn't think much of it.

When she gets home her son is all excited and pulls her upstairs to see
the troll he caught. When she gets up there she sees the dresser pushed
against the closet door and skittles all over the floor. He tells his
mom to watch while he slides a skittle under the door. "I'm feeding
it!" he exclaims. She moves the dresser and opens the door: there's a
midget. Yup, a midget. Apparently he was a census worker and his son
locked him up and fed him skittles all day! Apparently there is some
sort of wrongful imprisonment suit that's been filed, but that's all I

I can't say that I fully believe this story (unless I was presented with
some irrefutable evidence: like some skittles with dwarf teeth-marks on
them) but regardless, it's pretty fantastic.

There are two types of people in the world: those that, if they were a
wrongfully imprisoned little-person being fed skittles under a closet
door by an autistic kid, would eat the skittles, and those who wouldn't.
I know I'd taste the rainbow.

No comments:

Post a Comment