Thursday, September 2, 2010

Entry 83: I Doubt It!

So-called readers,

I think all of this LSAT studying is messing with my brain.


I think I'm starting to pick apart everything I hear or see.  This isn't new for me- I have that type of personality to begin with (ask my exes), but I've just been noticing that I can't turn it off!

The other day I hear on the radio some nutjub has created a new branch of the "I think all TV and videogames are bad for kids and I need to get laid" club.  Or whatever it's called.  And in her brief comments she states how "studies show that children who watch violent movies and play violent video games tend to be more violent."

Not only do I, as a gamer, disagree immediately (and just want to donkey punch her f*cking THROAT!!!  Wait, sorry, getting violent.) but I hear this argument and immediately think, "this lady is assuming her conclusion based on causation, where only a correlation is present."  

Huh?  Then I think, "If more red cars than other color cars are involved in accidents or pulled over and ticketed, and I drive a red car, am I a more reckless driver?  If so, did the car cause that or was I drawn to a red car because of my pre-existing reckless tendencies?  What exactly is 'red'?  Shades of red?  If a color is close to red are you a little more reckless?"

I've got to get this test over with.

Then this morning I hear that lame commercial about how 1 out of 8 Americans are struggling with hunger.  They have different voices come on and say things like:

"I was working the cash register today when you bought groceries"
"I chatted with you on the elevator at work."
"Our kids ride the bus together."

Wait, what?  How can you have a job and be hungry?  Dubs at McDonalds are ONE DOLLAR.  Read again: ONE DOLLAR.  Sounds like someone needs to cut their crack and cable bill.

And what's this 1 in 8 number?  How does that work?  Does Paris Hilton and the rest of the anorexic gang count for more than their fair share?  I don't know how this works.

I do know, however, that double cheeseburgers are delicious.

That's all.

Caleb "I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, FOX!" Shreves


  1. Put the books down and back away slowly.

    AS much as I can see your head about to explode, I couldnt help but laugh. Great writing!

  2. :)

    I need to create a paypal account now.