Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Entry 92: Douchebag


If you were not already aware, the coolest flask ever created was sent to me by my friend, the Stone Fox.   Why is it so cool?  It says Douchebag right on it.  No need for guessing- this flask if for pure douchbaggery.

Douchebag wasted no time spreading his shenanigans.  Major fights broke out in the town of McCausland (more than usual, anyway), normally reserved people have been getting extra hammered, and theft and suspicion of taken hold. 

In fact, the catastrophic damage Douchebag was inflicting (showing up at Catholic weddings, getting girls hammered on Jack Daniels, ruining otherwise fine relationships) was so bad that a task force was organized to steal and hide away the flask forever. 

Sadly, they were successful and Douchebag went missing for several weeks.  He missed out on some epic drinking, softball shenanigans, and a chance to skydive.  Luckily, I have another skydiving trip planned Oct. 22 (who's going with me?!) and plan on taking the flask in my pocket when I jump.  After I drink the contents, of course. 

I don't know how he escaped, but one day Douchebag was outside my house, leaning against the front door.  Noone has admitted to its theft, but that's probably because I mounted an extensive rescue effort and threatened death and pure Caleb-insanity if it were not returned.  I'd also like to thank Facebook for the help with the rescue.

I have pictures of just about everyone in my town with Douchbag, but that would be boring and a drag to post every one of them.  So I'll put up just a few for now.  But, if you remember Cledus' haircut from a few posts back (think Friar Tuck)- well, that was douchbag inspired.

I'm not done with the flask yet, but eventually I would like to pass it on to someone who will give it some new adventures, take some new pics, and pass it along to a worthy individual.  Maybe years later there could be a douchbag-reunion party with all the custodians through the years.  Success. 

Caleb "dont take my damn flask" Shreves


  1. Lady in the middle pic seems to have nice boobies. Why I notice these things, I don't know.

  2. I was unaware of his bare ass being so close to my handlebars. I have a sudden urge to boil my hands.

  3. That be The Lizard (of me falling down and me knocking myself out fame). You notice because its inherently noticeable. EVERYONE likes boobs!

    Kim, I'd just set the bike on fire.

  4. THE Stone Fox? When did this become Batman: The Dark Knight? (you know, all of a sudden everyone says THE Batman..? What's up with that?)


    it's about time! I'm def intrigued by picture #1. The lady in picture #2 has got a gorgeous SMILE. And as for #3, that face is priceless and they let you drink from the flask openly in bars? I've been asked twice to either throw it away or leave.

  5. Caleb, where's The Douchebag now?!

  6. Oh, it's had some adventures! Went on a real spree in St. Louis. I finally passed the torch though...to someone much viler than even I am. The Outlaw has possession now. Look out.

  7. Also, note the profile pic which is from Halloween a couple years ago. Went as Mayhem, took the flask all night. Yeah...Mayhem.