If you were not already aware, the coolest flask ever created was sent to me by my friend, the Stone Fox. Why is it so cool? It says Douchebag right on it. No need for guessing- this flask if for pure douchbaggery.
Douchebag wasted no time spreading his shenanigans. Major fights broke out in the town of McCausland (more than usual, anyway), normally reserved people have been getting extra hammered, and theft and suspicion of taken hold.
In fact, the catastrophic damage Douchebag was inflicting (showing up at Catholic weddings, getting girls hammered on Jack Daniels, ruining otherwise fine relationships) was so bad that a task force was organized to steal and hide away the flask forever.
Sadly, they were successful and Douchebag went missing for several weeks. He missed out on some epic drinking, softball shenanigans, and a chance to skydive. Luckily, I have another skydiving trip planned Oct. 22 (who's going with me?!) and plan on taking the flask in my pocket when I jump. After I drink the contents, of course.
I don't know how he escaped, but one day Douchebag was outside my house, leaning against the front door. Noone has admitted to its theft, but that's probably because I mounted an extensive rescue effort and threatened death and pure Caleb-insanity if it were not returned. I'd also like to thank Facebook for the help with the rescue.
I have pictures of just about everyone in my town with Douchbag, but that would be boring and a drag to post every one of them. So I'll put up just a few for now. But, if you remember Cledus' haircut from a few posts back (think Friar Tuck)- well, that was douchbag inspired.
I'm not done with the flask yet, but eventually I would like to pass it on to someone who will give it some new adventures, take some new pics, and pass it along to a worthy individual. Maybe years later there could be a douchbag-reunion party with all the custodians through the years. Success.
Caleb "dont take my damn flask" Shreves