Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Entry 79: Caleb At 13,500 Feet!


I jumped out of a mother-fucking plane!

No, that's pretty much the story.  I faced fear unimaginable, nearly shat myself, and hurled towards the earth at 130+ miles per hour (that's like 27 million meters for you weird metric people) until I landed safely. 

As you knee-crawl your way to the open door of a plan, strapped to some dude with a couple harnesses, and watch people falling off the edge of a plane... holy shit.  That last second where you are looking out and can see the ground (miles below!) and you know that you are about to be next... that's the most fear I've ever felt in my life.

But, as soon as you're out and falling, it's the best freakin' feeling ever!  I would love to post some pictures and a link to my video, but I left my stuff in The Johann's car and he is currently meeting with the Taliban to negotiate the end to the war.  He says he'll compromise by letting them keep their beards if they all agree to grow mullets.

Speaking of, here were a couple of my favorite Johann quotes from the carride:

1.  We were talking about "squirters" (look it up, but its NSFW) because a girl I went to high school is one.  This led to the phrase (I think by me) "I don't think I'm okay with Beaver-froth."  To which Johann replied, "It's good for numbing the whiskers."

2. There was a car parked off the road in a ditch, sideways, in the weeds, with lawnchairs piled on top of it.  Very strange.  I notice that Johann saw it too and said "Johann- did you see that?  What the hell?" And he said "Yeah... it's good Friday."  First off, no it's not.  Second, even if it was how would that explain things?  Cripes.

I have a lot of stories from this weekend, but honestly there must have been something about skydiving that turns you epic because I had 3 consecutive nights of epic-drinking and could barely function yesterday.  No, wait, I can barely function today, so yesterday was something altogether different. 

And when I got home Saturday guess what I saw sitting on a chair outside my front door?  My flask.  I hoped that he could go skydiving with me, but oh well.  Now I'll just have to do it again!  I already bought my next ticket, so I'm thinking October.  Anyone in?

Caleb "I jumped out of a plane- what'd you do?" Shreves


  1. EEEEEeee!! I'm so excited! you got him back!!

    I watched a few of my friends jump last summer, they said the same thing you did. We were supposed to go back this summer but the man who was organising everything died.

    Oh, and you don't know about Good Friday?

  2. OH man, that is so on my bucket list! So very jealous. If you sign up to glide (you know, those guys that look like flying squirrels), you better call me!

  3. I've always wanted to, but am too much of a puss to really do it.

    But did you like being "strapped to some dude with a couple harnesses"?

  4. Yeesh! I could never sky dive. At all. Ever.

    The second Johann quote sounds like something I would say. Me likey.