Friday, July 9, 2010

Entry 52: Caleb Flirts Like A Jedi Master, Johann Knows Where Home Is



So I was honing my game last night and practicing some new flirting skills.

Here's a situation: you've been flirting with one girl.  Later, you're flirting with another girl (Girl 2).  Girl 1 comes back to flirt more when you're in the midst of flirting with Girl 2.  What do you do?

Normally, it's a little weird and you try to be nice and kind-of flirty with Girl 1 while not being too flirty as to alienate Girl 2.  Not anymore!  I do what I want.  So last night I change tactics:  drop Girl 2 and flirt heavy with Girl 1.  Until it's at all boring, then either go do something else or flirt with Girl 2 again.  You'd think that maybe Girl 2 would begrudge you for ditching her?

Nope.  Chicks love it! 

Women are so weird.  So I tried this new maneuver last night with about 6 Girls, all at the same bar, and it worked like a champ!

Sadly, none of them could cook or clean so I didn't take any home, but it's the practice time that counts.

In other news, a drunk guy dropped his giant glass mug on the cement and smashed it into a million pieces.  

No, not me.

Oh, and Johann was out.  Fortunately he says he is now sure where his house is.  Thank God!

Stay classy

Caleb "spilled ketchup on his white t-shirt while eating a chicken patty" Shreves

PS some older lady I was chatting up at the first bar I was at looked at me and said "Are you a used car salesman?"  I don't think she meant it as a compliment!


  1. I do hope you said the Cartman line out loud.

    P.S. I follow you now. Extend the same courtesy. And I always text while driving, preferably on mountain roads.

  2. No, I'm not stalking you...are you stalking me?? did you find me? :o)
    Mr. Lick Lick's hooker

  3. Not all chicks dig it...but life is a numbers while you would have lost me...I bet there's still a line around the block :P

    BTW...what exactly is a chicken "patty" that like a McChicken? A chicken Jamiacan Patty? a general term for chicken on...bread stuff?

  4. I wouldn't have "lost" you. I was the most entertaining thing in a 50 mile radius, and that's a scientific fact (check it out on wikipedia). You would have worked harder to entertain ME, and you might have succeeded.

    Seriously? You don't know what a chicken patty is? Is that a real question?

  5. lol well that is technically true...had I been your first target...I might have worked harder to keep you in my sights...though I lack closing the deal ability...I generally fall flat somewhere just before the moments of "wanna get out of here" and/or "let's get a cab"

    Yes this is a real question...I'm guessing it's a cultural thing because I have never in my entire life said the words "chicken patty" together...chicken burger...sure...chicken sandwich...McChicken...chicken and rice...chicken noodle soup...don't be such a chicken...peppermint patty...patty cake...jamaican patty...that girl is named patty...but never together :P

  6. Read about that. You'll get there- just keep practicing!

    I am good at the first intro part, and the closing part, but can lose ground in the in-between. Oh well.

    WHAT? If you live in America, you have 24 hours to not only research everything there is to know about chicken patties, but then to go out, procure them, and eat them until you puke.

    Add a hotdog to your list while you're at it.

    You do know what ketchup is, right Commie?

  7. lol I live in Canada eh? I'm guessing it has something to do with quality controls and the fact that canadians like their chicken to still kind of resemble...chicken :P But next time I head across the border I'll be sure to hit the local piggly wiggly and pick me up some squishy faux meat products :P

    (all jokes aside though obviously I can infer in general what you mean...but I like specificity and I wanted to know exactly what type of pulverized squished together meat product you were in fact eating :P)

    And yeah I suck at the closing these days...I blame the not-drinking...and my ego...both keep ruining my game :P

  8. Maybe... more likely it's the lack of America-style coolness. Here's your list of things to do:

    1. Eat a hot dog or chicken patty
    2. Put ketchup on your ketchup
    3. Watch baseball at least 1x per week
    4. 500 CC of Bud Light daily
    5. Get yourself a confederate flag for your car (this is a bit much, I know, but you have a long way to go and this would help make up a lot of ground)

    Good luck!