So the crazy guy in my area, "JPac", took it up a notch today.
How's he crazy? Well, lots of things, but suffice it to say that he is the guy who will run out onto the driving range when you're golfing and "fetch" balls that he deems are close enough to get. aka up to 100 feet. He runs in circles and makes faces and noises. 40, married, kids, scary I know.
Anywhoo, turns out that he goes to the local evangelical Mega-Church! So, yes, of course, I am planning a trip to visit said church and see the JPac and family speaking in tongues and whatnot.
lalalalalalelelalaldlelaldlelaslsllel!!!!! That was my speaking in tongues.
I figure I'm going to walk up to the hottest chick there, tap her on the shoulder, and say "Ma'am... I've sinned. I've done things that make Jesus ashamed... If only I had the strength of a good woman to steer me straight, I might correct my wayward ways."
Think it'll work? Any bets on whether or not I can pick up a crazy chick at the Mega-Church? $20 says I do! Oh, I'll have her speaking in tongues. If you know what I mean.
Also today, I argued with a Jewish lady on whether or not Catholics have more guilt than Jews. We called it a tie. Well, technically, I said that Catholics have the edge on guilt but can just say what they did out loud and write a check and lower their guilt-quotient.
Oh, and while walking to my lunch table (that sounds so 3rd grade) I passed a good lookin' chick with big jubblies and a pretty smile and responded to her "hello" with a perfectly gangster:
"How you doin'?"
Caleb "Seriously I promise tonight I won't stay out till 4AM" Shreves