Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Entry 59: Nice Guys Versus Douches


How nice is too nice?

If you look at the statistics (or just assume them in your own head) you will see that, on average, douchier guys have better luck with women.

Why is this?

Granted, no girl should be with an out-and-out douche machine.  A guy that never respects a woman, treats her like crap, and acts like a raging ass 24-7 is not a good long-term match for a girl.  But there must be something in the confidence of these types of guys that makes girls overlook the popped collar and backwards hat and give them a chance.  Why?

Many theories on this subject abound.  You can just scan the blogosphere and see 100 opinions on this matter, but my two cents is that women like confidence.  Women like a man that goes his own way, knows himself, and -most of all- can be fun.  Douchery sometimes looks like a weird form of confidence, and women aren't always great at knowing the difference (that and they're born optimistic romantics). 

But some guys, for some reason, sacrifice some of their... manliness (for lack of a better term) in some sort of ill-conceived idea that they're doing the right thing for their girl.


The Nerv has recently gone through some life changes that have made him rethink his approach to dating.  He has offered to write a guest post about the trade-offs between niceness and assertiveness, and I think you'll all enjoy it.  His perspective is fascinating, because he is both lucky with finding women but also one of the nicest men around.  You can guess how things usually work out for him!

He's notoriously tardy (like I mentioned yesterday) but hopefully this warm up post will entice him to hustle up and send me his work.

You'll want to read it.

So, ladies, what's your experience with nice guys and douches?  Or, if you've found someone special for yourself (or a great husband like housewifey), why do they work out so well for you?

Hustle up, Nerv. 

And get me my anthem recording!

Shreves out. 


  1. Aww shucks proffer (yes, I've taken to calling you proffer), I did get lucky in the man department didn't I?

    I have to admit that I did fall for an asshole once or twice, but immediately got turned off by their douchbaggery. But The Husband is a whole lotta nice, with a little bit of douche thrown in. He is always, always nice to me though. He's called his sisters bitches, but he has NEVER called me a bitch, even in the worst of fights.

    And there's a difference between angry mean douche, and lighthearted funny douche. Lighthearted funny douche always wins. Hilarity and wittiness = WIN

  2. "And there's a difference between angry mean douche, and lighthearted funny douche. Lighthearted funny douche always wins. Hilarity and wittiness = WIN"

    Totally agree. I go for the respectful hoodlum type. There needs to be balance for a guy to be a good catch. Gotta be caring and sweet with the right amount of badass. You dig?

  3. I dig- both of you ladies are right.

    I've always felt that any girl who didn't demand my respect (and earn it) would never get it. Weird, I know, but that's usually the case.

    The odds of me settling down anytime soon (read: get trapped) are pretty remote, but you can bet that it would be one helluva special lady who could pull it off!

    Either that or she watches a lot of those shows about dog training. It has to work on men too, right?

  4. There's a perfect blog post about this that I must turn you on to. I give you Jay, author of CluexFour.

  5. That was pretty good, Lisa! A bit wordy, but still good!

  6. I would like to note that this was written in July, and now it's almost November. Have YOU seen any guest-blogs by The Nerv?? Nope.

    I actually ran the odds of him getting me his piece on nice vs. douche through the "Nerv-tardi-ometer" and came up with February as a target date. Don't tell him though.

  7. Caleb's Journal, December 9th 2010:

    Dear diary,

    Still no post from Nerv. Thought I was exaggerating with the February comment, but now not so sure.

    I am preparing Operation Donkey Punch in an effort to entice Nerv to hustle the shit up.

    Also, microwaved tator tots not such a good idea.